Finding The Balance Between Online and Off
February 10 2010 09:00:00 PM
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Today I read two very interesting stories about how the new generation of on-line services such as Facebook and Twitter are affecting people's lives. At one end of the spectrum was Wil Wheaton, who blogged about how Twitter has changed his life and career for the better. At the other end was the USA Today article about people shutting down their Facebook accounts to regain their privacy and peace of mind. Both stories have valid points, and at various moments I've leaned in each direction. There are times where I just want to completely disconnect and focus on the things "in my real life." Then there are times that I'm so happy I was able to connect with someone on-line, make a business connection, or learn about something I otherwise would not have known about.
As with most things in life, finding proper balance somewhere in the middle is the goal, but a constant challenge.
While writing the paragraph above, I realized I'm wrong in thinking that "in real life" means being disconnected. I work at home, physically disconnected from my teammates. So tools such as email, chat, microblogging, wikis, and webconferencing are standard tools of my everyday existence. I have friends and family all over the world with whom I communicate primarily on-line. I have "connections/friends/followers" that I met at periods in my life ranging from elementary school to events I attended last week. I'm communicating with you right now via my blog.
My "real life" includes being on-line.
The key (for me anyway) is to find the right mix of being behind the keyboard and away from it. I'm quite active, and make sure to get outside, play sports, go to the gym, so physically I have good balance. But emotionally I'm not sure I do. I worry about what's in my inbox, my @replies, and comments on my blog. So here are some questions I'm going to start regularly asking myself, you may want to as well.
I love the on-line world. It's amazing that via status updates, chat channels, blogs and shared photos I'm able to "keep in touch" with so many people in my life. But I also find it sad that I often know more about what's going on with acquaintances I met once at a conference, than I do about my closest family members and friends. That is where I need to improve, and stop making excuses that I'm busy, especially if it is because I'm trying out the latest buzz of the week.
As with most things in life, finding proper balance somewhere in the middle is the goal, but a constant challenge.
While writing the paragraph above, I realized I'm wrong in thinking that "in real life" means being disconnected. I work at home, physically disconnected from my teammates. So tools such as email, chat, microblogging, wikis, and webconferencing are standard tools of my everyday existence. I have friends and family all over the world with whom I communicate primarily on-line. I have "connections/friends/followers" that I met at periods in my life ranging from elementary school to events I attended last week. I'm communicating with you right now via my blog.
My "real life" includes being on-line.
The key (for me anyway) is to find the right mix of being behind the keyboard and away from it. I'm quite active, and make sure to get outside, play sports, go to the gym, so physically I have good balance. But emotionally I'm not sure I do. I worry about what's in my inbox, my @replies, and comments on my blog. So here are some questions I'm going to start regularly asking myself, you may want to as well.
- Do I need to read every post that flows through my Twitter or Facebook stream?
- Do I need to keep up with the news about every latest gadget or online service?
- Have I spoke to my mom this week?
- When was the last time I spoke to or saw my siblings, nephews, cousins, and aunts&uncles?
- When was the last time I spoke to my friends? (In Toronto, Boston, and a dozen other places)
I love the on-line world. It's amazing that via status updates, chat channels, blogs and shared photos I'm able to "keep in touch" with so many people in my life. But I also find it sad that I often know more about what's going on with acquaintances I met once at a conference, than I do about my closest family members and friends. That is where I need to improve, and stop making excuses that I'm busy, especially if it is because I'm trying out the latest buzz of the week.
Hey there LCJG!
From those of us who caught up with you at an event last week, and who's only contact with you beyond that is through online mediums, we're glad you make the time and effort that you do.
For those of us who live technology (and breathe Notes), the work/life balance you describe is a juggling act where we are constantly worrying about dropping one of the balls.
The analogy being: which ball are we about to drop, and who get's affected by that?
That you have identified which ball YOU need to keep a closer eye on and that you are raising the priority of family and friends is commendable.
Great questions - I'll be joining you.
Catch you in the ether!
Mat
ps. I really do like your shiny new blog :-)
Great post Alan. I am asking myself the same questions. Oh - and I love the new blog design. May I ask who imported into the ProjectDX template?
Thanks Alan - I think most of us with a similar work/life contemplate the same balance you write. My own success is hit and miss. Perhaps my own "self check" is in order.
Mat, great to hear from you. You're the perfect example of a wonder friend that I've been able to meet online, but then become friends with the real world. Next time, I hope its in your part of globe!
Hi Bruce, yes you're online too much ;-) Just kidding, keep the updates and podcasts coming. The guru Mr Steve C did all the heavy lifting.
Hey Glen. An example of the problem is that we all say work:life balance. Shouldn't it be life:work balance?
Alan, great post.
To address at least the first two of your bulleted questions, this year I started a to-don't list: things that I do not need to day, such as follow every possibly interesting link or blog or tweeter, or archive every issue of Wired, or or or . . . I find it easier to list the don't-do items than to prune the to-do list.
Fred, fantastic. "To-don't list", I want to make one of those.
Funny, I independently came to the conclusion I needed to blog about this topic in the last day or so, probably for many of the same reasons. But one very important concept about your original post is key -- "real life" includes being online in 2010. There simply is no other way for our generation, as intersected with careers in high-tech, to be successful.
Hey Ed. Agreed. As much as we want to be "offline", it rarely seems to happen. At least I try to not tweet while I'm in the shower. ;-)
Leona Hobbs { Link } VP at Social Media Group { Link } uses the phrase "work life blending". I like that.
I also try in think in terms of life:work balance, so I'll adjust that to life:work blending.