Winter Driving For Dummies
Today as I sat in my car for two hours watching the countless morons around me, I decided it was my public duty to share the following winter driving tips:
1. Don't do it. Just stay inside. It's cold and slippery out there and you're a bad driver.
2. Slow down. You're not a virgin on prom night who's expected to reach your destination in 2 minutes.
3. Never tailgate. I don't care if you think you have the reaction time of Chris Farley reaching for the last chicken wing before the buffet closes. Guess what? Your car needs time to stop, especially in the snow.
4. Stop changing lanes for no reason. 2 In A Room's "Wiggle It" should not be your theme song for the commute home. Weaving is the path to the dark side, or something like that.
5. Just because your truck's tires are stickier then Cameron Diaz's hair in There's Something About Mary, it does not mean you own the road. There are others out there, respect them.
Buckle up, be patient and drive safe everyone.
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1. Don't do it. Just stay inside. It's cold and slippery out there and you're a bad driver.
2. Slow down. You're not a virgin on prom night who's expected to reach your destination in 2 minutes.
3. Never tailgate. I don't care if you think you have the reaction time of Chris Farley reaching for the last chicken wing before the buffet closes. Guess what? Your car needs time to stop, especially in the snow.
4. Stop changing lanes for no reason. 2 In A Room's "Wiggle It" should not be your theme song for the commute home. Weaving is the path to the dark side, or something like that.
5. Just because your truck's tires are stickier then Cameron Diaz's hair in There's Something About Mary, it does not mean you own the road. There are others out there, respect them.
Buckle up, be patient and drive safe everyone.
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